The Chronicle

of a ColdFusion Expatriate

Stop Calling People Resources

July 27, 2021

This is the Merriam-Webster definition:

re·source, n.

  1. a source of supply or support: an available means—usually used in plural
  2. a natural source of wealth or revenue—often used in plural
  3. a natural feature or phenomenon that enhances the quality of human life
  4. computable wealth—usually used in plural
  5. a source of information or expertise

Huh, that’s weird. Nowhere in there does it say “a human member of a team or organization.” So why do people insist on dehumanizing their colleagues by referring to them as “a resource?”

A Company Cannot "Kinda Care"

June 4, 2021

In the same way that you can’t “kinda like” pineapple on pizza—you either love it or you hate it, never anything in between—a company can’t “kinda care” about anything, especially if it is among the company’s publicly stated values.

Moreover, it is becoming increasingly costly for companies who want to “kinda care” about certain social, environmental, or humanitarian concerns to simply stay silent about them.

"Blitzscaling" Is Inhumane and Nobody Should Do It

May 14, 2021

“Blitzscaling” is a distastefully martial portmanteau of “blitz,” which is German for “lightning,” and “scaling,” which in this context means business growth. It may have been invented by—and was definitely popularized by—Reid Hoffman, who wrote the eponymous book.

It’s a concept for how to grow a business very quickly, and it works. But it carries with it tremendous social costs.

Can Remote Work... Work?

April 24, 2021

Everyone is grappling with these questions right now: can remote teams produce the same results as in-person teams? Do companies need to go remote to stay competitive in the technology job market? What effects, if any, would a sea change in remote work have on the way we engage with our occupations?

Blinding My Roomba

April 23, 2021

I got a Roomba, which is pretty neat, but it’s also pretty stupid. As it turns out, it works better for me if it’s crippled and I’m going to tell you how I did it. And why; I’ll also tell you why.

This is a story about an iRobot® Roomba® 675 Wi-Fi® Connected Robot Vacuum, an array of infrared “cliff” sensors, and a man who is fed up with their bullshit.