Yes, my friends, it is true. After more than fifteen years using Vim, teaching Vim, proselytizing about Vim, all the while scoffing in the general direction of Emacs, I've seen the light. The light of Lisp... Or something.
If, like me, you're curious enough to give Emacs a try, this post should help you get off the ground.
It's taken me at least the fourteen days described in the title, but with my help it should only take you two or three. There are some things to get used to, some new paradigms, and you have to learn a bit of Lisp (Elisp, actually), but don't be afraid, it's not that hard.